Banded acara

The fish that pushes a pram

Fish have to fight an uphill battle in terms of their reputations, and one of their cutest and most undervalued characteristics is loving parental care. It turns out that, while many fish just cast their progeny into the water and leave them to a murky fate, an astonishing number of fish species devote themselves to their eggs and offspring to a degree that is oftentimes mind-boggling – especially when you consider that fish don’t even have hands to restrain their children while trying to wrestle a diaper on them. Well, luckily fish babies do not need diapers. Fish parents: 1; Human parents: 0. But I digress. Parental care, as biologists refer to it, comes in many different shapes in fish: some fan their eggs by frantically waving their fins so as to provide them with fresh and well oxygenated water – just imagine yourself sitting at the cot, constantly fanning your baby to combat overly hot summer nights; luckily humans have invented air-conditioning and electric fans! Fish parents: 1; Human parents: 1. Others keep their eggs and offspring in their mouth for[RR1] extended periods of time to protect them from predators. I think we can give another point to humans here without much discussion; try doing your job while protecting dozens of soft-boiled eggs in your cheeks. Not exactly my idea of fun. Fish parents: 1; Human parents: 2.

One of the most astonishing forms of parental care, however, is shown by a South American cichlid by the name of Bujurquina vittata, the banded acara or gold-cheeked flag cichlid (it was also known as Aequidens paraguayensis, the banded Aequidens for some time). These fish live in streams and rivers in the area of the Paraná Basin (located in the area where Argentina, Brazil, Paraguay [hence its old scientific name], and Uruguay have their borders with one another) where they often use leaves they find on the bottom to attach their eggs to. Now, sticking one’s eggs to rocks or roots or plants is commonplace among fishes. What is rather rare, however, is to then move the whole clutch by moving the object to which it has been attached – a homemade fish stroller that allows parent to bring their babies to locations that are either safer or have more suitable water conditions! This is exactly what B. vittata parents do. In fact, they take great care in selecting the leaf on which to spawn to ensure it can be pushed and dragged around easily. Sounds familiar? I would say that these fish parents torture themselves as much as human parents when it comes to choosing the right pram for their children: it has to be safe and clean and should not be too much of a pain to move around. But the cichlids have two great benefits on their side – they do not have to worry about fitting their stroller into their car or an elevator or getting it on a bus or airplane (oh the horrors of air travel with children! This is an agony no fish, not even cichlids, will ever suffer). And most importantly, their prams do not cost the equivalent of a small car (only the best for our children!), they come for free! So, there you have it: Fish parents win over Human parents 3:2 by virtue of not having to deal with nappies, not travelling with prams, and not paying a fortune for their offspring’s first mobile throne. Whether air-conditioning and empty cheeks are sufficient compensation for this, I leave up to you. Personally, I am on the fence about whether I’d rather be a fish or a human parent…